Military Dude - It happened to Mr. Hanson after a grueling morning of running the steeplechase. The platoon was showering when a drill instructor came into the steam room because he was irritated to hear him talking. He ordered the 60 naked recruits to line up against the wall with their genitals hidden behind them.
After holding them in place for a few minutes, he ordered them to run to the other side of the room and line up again, then to the first side. I grew up in a conservative mid-sized town in Southern California.
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I started playing water polo in 7th grade, eventually playing at Great Oak High School in Temecula. My life after high school was interesting. When I was 18, I moved halfway around the world to Madrid, Spain to attend university and play water polo at an elite level.
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After a year in Spain, I returned to Southern California and played another year of water polo at Palomar College there. I didn't come out until I was almost 21. I grew up believing that being gay was wrong – that being gay meant you fit a stereotype.
It meant you were a pathetic, weak, wallet excuse for a man. I know now that it isn't. "I couldn't," Mr. Capshaw recalled in an interview this spring, shaking his head. "You say you were raped by another man, people blame you, shame you.
They don't understand how something like this can happen." "It filled a big void for me," he said. "My military service was revoked. For years, hearing the anthem and seeing the parades made me cry. I feel like an expert now.”
After coming out, he spent most of his adult life as a "black box" closed off from the world of anger and shame. He burned out of two jobs and his marriage, drank to drown his self-loathing.
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As I left the office, the sergeant searched for something comforting to say. His words and any comfort I could get from them fell to the ground. I sat down, stared at the computer screen and tried to remember the assignment I was working on.
A few hours later, Lt. Megan Kalliavas would stop by and explain: The NCO was the head of the unit's sexual harassment and prevention program. The evening before, there was a report of male to male sexual assault in our facility.
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In response, apparently to demonstrate his competence in his assigned role, the NCO took it upon himself to contact the person he believed most likely to commit a similar offense in the future: me, the only openly gay soldier in my unit.
It wasn't the first time I'd been targeted for my sexuality in the 2nd Battalion, 87th Infantry, and part of me was amazed that it still made my hands shake and my stomach clench. I told myself I needed to develop a thick skin at this point;
Compared to the life-and-death hardships of military life, these moments mean nothing. But it was hard to ignore the anxiety I felt during the social activities that were required at the time—"enforced fun"—as it's called in the military—or the stress of my fellow soldiers.
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You will be notified when the nomination is accepted and the package will be shipped! The military is built on a foundation of earning trust and proving yourself capable to your peers and superiors. Being new to a facility is not the same as being a new hire at any other job.
People are cautious, cautious until you show you can handle the job. It may not have helped that I was an intelligence analyst in an infantry world - a support soldier in a combat soldier unit.
But none of this was mentioned in the notes. Neither my ability nor my duty status was questioned. It was not my efficiency or value to the unit that raised these damaging marks, but something beyond my control.
Something that was thought to be pointless after September 2011. * 21+ (19+ CA-ONT) (18+ NH/WY). AZ, CO, CT, IL, IN, IA, KS, LA, (select churches), MD, MI, NH, NJ, NY, OH, OR, PA, TN, VA, WV, WY, CA-ONT only.
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Eligibility restrictions apply. Great at draftkings.com/sportsbook. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. Elevations and lines can be changed. I still face discrimination and understand that it is an unfortunate reality of living openly and fighting for equality. I am currently working with other LGBT sailors to start an organization at my foundation for LGBT service members to promote understanding and ensure equality in the workplace.
Hopefully in the future people won't have to "come out" but I can say this is my boyfriend/girlfriend and accept everyone. Billy Joe Capshaw said his years in the military were the worst of his life, but to this day he wears an Army veteran's baseball cap.
He said he deflects unwanted questions from strangers about his facial features. Many of my fellow sailors left training with me and went to Pensacola, where the excursion took place on that fateful day. I was afraid that I would be rejected by people I was once friends with, that the management above me would see me as less of a man, or that any achievements I had were because I was gay and not on my own merit
. I was completely and utterly wrong. In fact, some of the most vocally gay people have become my biggest supporters. The sergeant and I looked at each other for a moment as the office door closed.
I'm sure my facial expression mirrored the pale, shocked expression I saw on his face. Seconds ago, an NCO was inches from my face and threatened to end my career, so we both respectfully folded our hands behind our backs and remained silent.
In 1988, when Mr Phillips was 17, he embarked on his first cruise and a group of sailors offered to take him out for a night on the town. They traveled to Manhattan and, he said, he woke up on the floor of a hotel room to find others trying to take down his pants and a man ejaculating on his face.
Mr. Phillips escaped their grasp and was trapped in a bathroom. I'm from Fort Drum, N.Y. After the second week of arriving at - my first and only job with the Army - I found death threats slipping under my barracks room door.
I saw the colors first. pink, blue and yellow; The strange happy colors contradict their written words. Some were simple: scribbles and profanity written in thick, black Sharpie, pressed hard onto the paper and bleeding through.
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"Bassoon" and "queer fag," the notes said. A few were more elaborate: detailed descriptions of what might happen to me if I were caught alone, and statements about the misdeeds of homosexuals in the military. My heart was pounding and I went to the side of the road.
A friend of mine went through my Instagram photos and found me with another guy on the back of my motorcycle. Their messages wanted to know the truth. I realized that my worst fear had come true.
By mistake, most military people are strong, and this is especially true for gay service members. That's because (most of the time) we need to take care of our bodies and prepare for battle at a moment's notice.
In the days that followed, several recruits reported the episode to their chain of command, and the training instructor was sued. Mr. Hansen has a copy of the Navy investigative report confirming the incident. According to Department of Defense estimates, only 3 percent of men reported being sexually assaulted during Mr. Lloyd's time in the military.
Since then, the percentage has increased nearly sixfold, but the vast majority of men who are sexually assaulted still do not report it. I was lucky that the officer in charge of the Intelligence Division, Kalliavas, was an intolerant woman.
Together we approached our facility management, where she insisted that the comments stemmed from the agent's own homophobic feelings and recommended that he be reprimanded and removed from his position as the facility's sexual harassment supervisor.
I never found out if any action was taken against him. Today, more and more veterans like Mr. Williams are coming forward and asking the Department of Veterans Affairs to provide treatment and compensation for their injuries.
The department has officially acknowledged that about 61,000 veterans, including Mr. Williams, have been sexually assaulted during their service, and the number of claims filed each year has increased by 70 percent since 2010. The hardest people to come out with are colleagues
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my soldiers I first enlisted in the Naval Special Warfare Program, the toughest program possible for humans. I was recruited in 2014 to fulfill a purpose greater than myself. There, the instructors and fellow trainees constantly railed against homophobia.
I vividly remember one day a counselor said, "Look at that buffalo," and he turned to us and said, "Wait, it's okay to be gay, you can't be gay." Within days, he said, Mr. Dahmer was beating him, drugging him and locking him in their room.
At one point, Mr Capshaw jumped from an upstairs window to escape, ending up in hospital with a fractured pelvis. But the doctor who examined him didn't say a word about what was happening either. "It's their system, it's my fault, not theirs," Mr Hansen said of the download.
"If I get injured during training, I have to get treatment and pay compensation. But they said this was a pre-existing condition. In April 2015, I was returning to my quarters at the Naval Base in Pensacola, Florida.
After spending the night with a guy I was seeing, I rode my motorcycle back to the base and made it to the top. Sexual harassment in the military is a widely recognized but poorly understood problem.
Elected officials and Pentagon leaders have tended to focus on the thousands of women victimized while in uniform. But over the years, most of the victims have been men. In 1991, Jeffrey Dahmer was arrested and confessed to raping and killing 17 young men and boys, some of whom he dismembered and ate.
The news media soon learned that Mr. Capshaw had been Mr. Dahmer's roommate in the Army and that he had gone to Hot Springs, Ark., where Mr. Capshaw lives. Mr Phillips said he was taken to his bunk in the bowels of the ship, where he slept meters away from the attackers.
He said they repeatedly beat and raped him for months. I reread the more detailed descriptions, trying to explain them as something other than what they were. Maybe they were a joke or for someone else.
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I reached for my phone and paused. If I report these and they are just a joke, then I will be "that person". Ridicule - knowing that they are nothing but jokes and laughing the meanest and most aggressive laughs - is the most important social capital in the military.
Am I willing to risk losing that capital before I have a chance to earn it? I tore the shiny sticky notes into confetti and threw them in the trash. I was alone in tears at that moment and decided to come clean - yes, I was gay, I told them.
The reactions started pouring in, and to my relief and surprise, they were overwhelmingly positive. I lost a few friends and my closest ones became closer because I no longer had to lie about who I was and for the first time they knew what was really going on in my life.
Pensacola will always hold a place in my heart for changing me the way it did. The day I came to anyone for the first time in February 2014 was the most emotional experience of my life.
My hands were shaking and my voice was trembling. I was living in Florida at the time, and my best friends—both girls—were in college in different parts of the country, and my family was in California.
I was scared. I sent a group message to my two friends. They responded with nothing but love and affection. One of them faced me, and I saw the person who was my girlfriend at the time standing in tears.
The moment I decided to be a soldier and the moment I chose to live openly as a homosexual happened over time, and it's hard to remember which came first. In early 2011, when I was 19 years old, I visited my mother, Senior Chief Petty Officer Brandon Parry and his family at a naval base in Naples, Italy.
At his behest I enlisted as an intelligence analyst for the US Army and at his encouragement I first came out to him and then to my family and friends. Paul Lloyd, pushing a cart through the supermarket near his house in Salt Lake City, stopped to sniff the various scented candles on a nearby shelf while looking for light bulbs.
suddenly his hands were above his face, and he fell to the ground crying.
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